Pitchfork's Top 50 formula... revealed!

I have refrained from ranting about Pitchfork Media (intentionally not using a hyperlink to their main site, for your own protection) here on We-Verb on several occasions, but since it's a holiday, we're all allowed a little headroom... analog style (meaning I'm probably going to clip a little on this one, but at least it will sound good).

Every year Pitchfork comes out with its' much anticipated Top 50 albums of the year list. Some years have been fantastic as far as content and correct ranking (2005, 2007 are the recent ones that comes to mind). Then some years, like this one, I feel like flying to Chicago, hunting them down (I'm pretty sure most of the writers look like this mongoloid, who probably want to make love to their hero ,who they look like, while listening to the most tragic hit single the music industry has ever had infiltrate its' sacred fortress of respected indie-crossovers) Um, wow, not sure where that came from... but, like I said! Flying to Chicago and hunting down the PF hipsters to slap them across their round woeful faces! That would be my reaction to the 2008 Top 50 PF Albums of the Year list!

Yes, this year they have stuck to their "Oh shit! We were barely paying attention this year!" formula. A formula only I may dissect, because I have read them for so long, and know their cunning and malevolent ways:

Top 50-41
This spot is saved for the giddy kid in all of them! This is for the cool art, the radical colors, the pretentious photographs, essentially the "Hey, I like the cover too much for the music to ruin this for me!"albums that they haven't really listened to, but figure they should give a shout-out for the visual stimulation that they have provided. Some years, an album the PF staff know that they should like (because it's actually musically solid) but really just don't, make this tier. This year it's David Byrne & Brian Eno 'Everything That Happens Will Happen Today'.

Top 40-31
This is usually the experimental junk. Albums they really want to like because they are so edgy and forward thinking, but just plain don't. This is usually peppered with noise-rock and electronica. When they have no real basis for any decision they are making, they will throw in legends who have released albums this year. Apparently 2008 was especially confusing and off-base, because they put two: Arthur Russell and Nick Cave.

Top 30-21
This the tier that we (the people who follow music) finally start recognizing artists. This is crunch time for the PF writers, this is where the obligatory names need to start showing up, they can't just make up pretentious bullshit now! This is where artists who have made stellar albums in past years, who then follow up with sub-par offerings this year, land... Hold Steady, I'm looking at you! This is also the resting place for albums that should be higher on the list, but aren't, because they released their album in the first 6 months of 2008, so therefore fall out of a fickle hipster's mind in December (Flying Lotus, Atlas Sound). Also, in their never-ending attempts to touch base with the hip-hop genre, they start throwing in picks to make them look like they pay attention to things other than indie (note: Kanye West).

Top 20-11
Again! Time is of the essence! This tier is usually the early-year darlings. The ones where you once saw daily news of their happenings and tours in the PF news feed any time before late spring. Though, since it's the end of the year, it discounts the quality of the music they've made... you know, just slightly, so they drop to here. In February, I knew what the Crystal Castles were eating for lunch, in December, they're #15... ouch. (Also, I should note that The Walkmen 'You & Me' is astounding, and deserves way higher than #19.) You will also note that more hip-hop titles abound here as well (You guessed it! They are trying really, really hard to fit in with other genres... well, one other genre).

Top 10-1
Crunch time kids! Usually, they get the top 10 albums in there, just not in the right order. Often times, they concede defeat to the revolting trend-band of the year (Vampire Weekend, oh how I loathe thee), and throw them in mid-pack. This year they have the good band that has released a stellar-album (Portishead) at #2, then they usually do the most popular album from their respective genres, as follows:

Collaboration: Hercules and Love Affair
Electronica/Post Rock: M83
Electronica/Dance: Cut Copy
Punk: No Age
Hipster Favorite (Even though this album isn't very good): TV On the Radio
Experimental/Punk: Deerhunter
Nod to Classic Rock: Fleet Foxes

Keep in mind that these are all interchangable! It's all about the nerd that has the best argument in the boardroom in regard to order, but you will always find this collection in the PF Top 10.

I also can't help but note that in order to get #1 with Pitchfork in the past two years, you need to have your album art resemble Hieronymus Bosch's work, but you know... hipper:

2007 PF #1: Panda Bear 'Person Pitch':


and

2008 Fleet Foxes 'Fleet Foxes'

asjksjkh!!!! <-- The Promised Excitement via Keyboard

Happiness is:



So you know like the first time you get high, on oh, let's say crack, and you think how the hell did you ever live without it? Yeah, replace the word 'crack' with 'Pro Tools 8', and that is about the only opinion that every cell in my body can agree upon.

I am currently going through every plug-in that comes with PT8, and judging it only in the way that I can: With the correct-and-undisputed opinion of its' feature's advantages and disadvantages. Expect the Overview of Awesome Materialized to be posted soon... maybe. Well, expect it to be posted if I can get over my excitement by stopping my workflow to jump up and down in my chair with unadulterated giddiness. (I really wish I was exaggerating on this fact, but alas, the chair jumping-in thing has been occurring, and occurring frequently).

Blythe's Top Ten Albums of 2008

While 2007 was a fruitful music year (Panda Bear, Of Montreal, Andrew Bird, Animal Collective... to name a few), 2008 made up for the over-exertion of its' predecessor, and by which I mean it completely slacked off and lost interest in commercial music.

So my top ten is somewhat biased, and somewhat being a complete asshole, because it contains entries that are TECHNICALLY, not 2008. I feel that I have enough experience in being a music snob that I can integrate past years' selections into the current year, as we are experiencing a musical emergency:

10) Brian Wilson 'That Lucky Old Sun' (Obligation, you see, we owe him for 96% of the music we enjoy today, research some Beach Boys and you'll see the correlation)

9) Animal Collective 'Water Curses' (Yes, I feel that an EP can beat out any album dated anywhere past May 2008)

8) South 'You Are Here' (I feel that a band that is musically inclined, and can produce themselves, deserve a spot in the year's honorable mentions. Kudos for having perception of the genre they profit within.)

7) Battlestar Galactica: Season 3 soundtrack (You are missing out if you are not watching the show... but further, if you appreciate music, you miss out more than the degenerative loser!). The soundtracks are very reflective of primitive African rhythm, with the lush complexity of a full orchestra section. Even though the show is based in uncharted territory of outer space, it makes you experience the tribal beats that our hearts call home.

6) Spiritualized 'Songs in A & E (Though his voice has been desecrated through illness, there is the same amount of soul there, as in his previous albums.) The full experience of gossip and modern rock, you feel at home in both genres listening to this album. I should also add to die-hard fans... it took me months to deal with the vocal change... but have come to accept it, out of necessity for an artist I adore.

5) Of Montreal 'Skeletal Lamping' (Alright, I'll admit, it took some getting used to, but this album is pretty awesome, and is the personification of kinky, wild sex. Mission accomplished! As that was the goal of the album).

4) Elbow 'Seldom Seen Kid' (One of the better music-oriented albums this year. Great song-writing, unique voice. Yay! New sounds!)

3) The Walkmen 'You & Me' (Alright you guys, I forgive you for the 2006 embarrassment 'A Hundred Miles Off'. You're 2008 offering is solid enough for me to forget you ever made the other one. You came back to your roots of sad, melodic NYC rock. I approve.)

2) Fleet Foxes 'Fleet Foxes' (This is here for two reasons: The first being that as much as I hate to admit it, I totally care what other music snobs think of me. The second is that this album has a vintage sonic quality to it, and I am still astounded when I listen to it that it actually was 2008. I also enjoy the songwriting.)

1) Of Montreal 'Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?' (Yeah what?! In fact, I AM so edgy to put a 2007 album as my number one album of 2008. You know why? Because I still listen to it, and it still puts to shame its' nine predecessors, and everything that was released this year.
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So may I suggest a New Year's Resolution to the music industry: Let's try some standards this time around in 2009, cool? I'm about to kill someone for something interesting to listen to...

Oh, also, if you could paralyze Ben Gibbard's vocal cords, I would be very appreciative. You know, just if you have the time.

How to Record a Band in 27 Minutes

How so very naive of us to only post about sessions that go flawlessly. We paint the inaccurate picture of tranquility, that aside from a problematic snake, the recording studio is nothing but sunshine and ribbon microphones.

The scene is last Sunday. The We-Verb staff, already tired from a long-term project session the previous day, show up to record an emo-hard-core band. At first glance everything appears normal, kids setting up drums, someone banging around on drums, also instructing placement, of aforementioned drums. You would think that this person was in fact, the drummer... think again.

The real drummer was in Pleasanton, at work, and would not be arriving to the session until several hours later. For those of you unfamiliar with the ideal recording chain, it's drums, bass, guitar, vocals... all elements tracked separately for sonic isolation.

Yes, it is at this point that the band informs us they would like to track guitar first. Begrudgingly, we mic up the cabinet, give each other the "Oh shit" look, slink into the control room, quadruple checked that the click was playing and clearly audible, and pressed 3 on the numeric keypad.

[Let this be a lesson to you rebels! Just because that piercing rhythmic click is slicing through your headphones directly into your brain DOES NOT mean that you have to play your instrument in time with it! That would just be silly.]

We managed to track two, 2 minute songs, and proceeded to track bass guitar DI.

Shortly after we have spent a couple hours with guitar and bass, doing multiple takes and various punching in, we then hear the drummer is en route. We proceed to mic the kit, taking up all 9 working channels on the snake. The drummer arrives, sits down, we start recording... about 20 seconds go by and he stops: "I can't play to this." (OF COURSE HE CAN'T PLAY TO IT. The entire session is referencing a foundation track that is full of wayward rhythm changes. That is why, my friends, you start tracking with DRUM AND BASS FIRST.)

So then a request meekly surfaces: "Is there any way we can record and all play at the same time?"

With a half an hour left in our session, we all break off and scramble with inputs and musician placement. Making quick decisions on what mics to take off of the drums to free up inputs, moving baffle walls between the drummer and the guitarist, shoving the lead vocalist into the storage room with an SM57, plugging the bassist DI in the control room, and trying to figure out what input has been changed to what in Pro Tools.

Yes, we did track the two songs they had wanted to track with the band playing simultaneously. Coincidentally, it is the exact two songs that were the catalyst for this We-Verb post, because I am procrastinating on mixing them.

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Now that the semester is over, we actually have time to post here! We have some backlogged recording sessions to detail, the best being the track that Will played drums, bass, and guitar! (AKA: We heart tube amplifiers!)

Also, our DIY audio projects are almost complete: We painted our Green Ringer Octave pedal, and will be posting about the long term, multi-mod Crybaby wah pedal.

We are going to dive right in to building our own preamps, via Seventh Circle Audio. To answer your question: Yes, yes we are in fact, so badass, that we build our own preamps.

I might accidentally post a Top Ten Albums of the Year list... because you all should at least know what is worthy of the music industry offerings. And like the economy, this was a frugal musical year.

Most importantly, PRO TOOLS 8 COMES OUT THIS WEEK. You can expect that post to contain nothing but random characters on the keyboard, because I'm going to be so excited and speechless that no articulate language will be able to escape my fingers.