Pitchfork's Top 50 formula... revealed!

I have refrained from ranting about Pitchfork Media (intentionally not using a hyperlink to their main site, for your own protection) here on We-Verb on several occasions, but since it's a holiday, we're all allowed a little headroom... analog style (meaning I'm probably going to clip a little on this one, but at least it will sound good).

Every year Pitchfork comes out with its' much anticipated Top 50 albums of the year list. Some years have been fantastic as far as content and correct ranking (2005, 2007 are the recent ones that comes to mind). Then some years, like this one, I feel like flying to Chicago, hunting them down (I'm pretty sure most of the writers look like this mongoloid, who probably want to make love to their hero ,who they look like, while listening to the most tragic hit single the music industry has ever had infiltrate its' sacred fortress of respected indie-crossovers) Um, wow, not sure where that came from... but, like I said! Flying to Chicago and hunting down the PF hipsters to slap them across their round woeful faces! That would be my reaction to the 2008 Top 50 PF Albums of the Year list!

Yes, this year they have stuck to their "Oh shit! We were barely paying attention this year!" formula. A formula only I may dissect, because I have read them for so long, and know their cunning and malevolent ways:

Top 50-41
This spot is saved for the giddy kid in all of them! This is for the cool art, the radical colors, the pretentious photographs, essentially the "Hey, I like the cover too much for the music to ruin this for me!"albums that they haven't really listened to, but figure they should give a shout-out for the visual stimulation that they have provided. Some years, an album the PF staff know that they should like (because it's actually musically solid) but really just don't, make this tier. This year it's David Byrne & Brian Eno 'Everything That Happens Will Happen Today'.

Top 40-31
This is usually the experimental junk. Albums they really want to like because they are so edgy and forward thinking, but just plain don't. This is usually peppered with noise-rock and electronica. When they have no real basis for any decision they are making, they will throw in legends who have released albums this year. Apparently 2008 was especially confusing and off-base, because they put two: Arthur Russell and Nick Cave.

Top 30-21
This the tier that we (the people who follow music) finally start recognizing artists. This is crunch time for the PF writers, this is where the obligatory names need to start showing up, they can't just make up pretentious bullshit now! This is where artists who have made stellar albums in past years, who then follow up with sub-par offerings this year, land... Hold Steady, I'm looking at you! This is also the resting place for albums that should be higher on the list, but aren't, because they released their album in the first 6 months of 2008, so therefore fall out of a fickle hipster's mind in December (Flying Lotus, Atlas Sound). Also, in their never-ending attempts to touch base with the hip-hop genre, they start throwing in picks to make them look like they pay attention to things other than indie (note: Kanye West).

Top 20-11
Again! Time is of the essence! This tier is usually the early-year darlings. The ones where you once saw daily news of their happenings and tours in the PF news feed any time before late spring. Though, since it's the end of the year, it discounts the quality of the music they've made... you know, just slightly, so they drop to here. In February, I knew what the Crystal Castles were eating for lunch, in December, they're #15... ouch. (Also, I should note that The Walkmen 'You & Me' is astounding, and deserves way higher than #19.) You will also note that more hip-hop titles abound here as well (You guessed it! They are trying really, really hard to fit in with other genres... well, one other genre).

Top 10-1
Crunch time kids! Usually, they get the top 10 albums in there, just not in the right order. Often times, they concede defeat to the revolting trend-band of the year (Vampire Weekend, oh how I loathe thee), and throw them in mid-pack. This year they have the good band that has released a stellar-album (Portishead) at #2, then they usually do the most popular album from their respective genres, as follows:

Collaboration: Hercules and Love Affair
Electronica/Post Rock: M83
Electronica/Dance: Cut Copy
Punk: No Age
Hipster Favorite (Even though this album isn't very good): TV On the Radio
Experimental/Punk: Deerhunter
Nod to Classic Rock: Fleet Foxes

Keep in mind that these are all interchangable! It's all about the nerd that has the best argument in the boardroom in regard to order, but you will always find this collection in the PF Top 10.

I also can't help but note that in order to get #1 with Pitchfork in the past two years, you need to have your album art resemble Hieronymus Bosch's work, but you know... hipper:

2007 PF #1: Panda Bear 'Person Pitch':


and

2008 Fleet Foxes 'Fleet Foxes'

asjksjkh!!!! <-- The Promised Excitement via Keyboard

Happiness is:



So you know like the first time you get high, on oh, let's say crack, and you think how the hell did you ever live without it? Yeah, replace the word 'crack' with 'Pro Tools 8', and that is about the only opinion that every cell in my body can agree upon.

I am currently going through every plug-in that comes with PT8, and judging it only in the way that I can: With the correct-and-undisputed opinion of its' feature's advantages and disadvantages. Expect the Overview of Awesome Materialized to be posted soon... maybe. Well, expect it to be posted if I can get over my excitement by stopping my workflow to jump up and down in my chair with unadulterated giddiness. (I really wish I was exaggerating on this fact, but alas, the chair jumping-in thing has been occurring, and occurring frequently).

Blythe's Top Ten Albums of 2008

While 2007 was a fruitful music year (Panda Bear, Of Montreal, Andrew Bird, Animal Collective... to name a few), 2008 made up for the over-exertion of its' predecessor, and by which I mean it completely slacked off and lost interest in commercial music.

So my top ten is somewhat biased, and somewhat being a complete asshole, because it contains entries that are TECHNICALLY, not 2008. I feel that I have enough experience in being a music snob that I can integrate past years' selections into the current year, as we are experiencing a musical emergency:

10) Brian Wilson 'That Lucky Old Sun' (Obligation, you see, we owe him for 96% of the music we enjoy today, research some Beach Boys and you'll see the correlation)

9) Animal Collective 'Water Curses' (Yes, I feel that an EP can beat out any album dated anywhere past May 2008)

8) South 'You Are Here' (I feel that a band that is musically inclined, and can produce themselves, deserve a spot in the year's honorable mentions. Kudos for having perception of the genre they profit within.)

7) Battlestar Galactica: Season 3 soundtrack (You are missing out if you are not watching the show... but further, if you appreciate music, you miss out more than the degenerative loser!). The soundtracks are very reflective of primitive African rhythm, with the lush complexity of a full orchestra section. Even though the show is based in uncharted territory of outer space, it makes you experience the tribal beats that our hearts call home.

6) Spiritualized 'Songs in A & E (Though his voice has been desecrated through illness, there is the same amount of soul there, as in his previous albums.) The full experience of gossip and modern rock, you feel at home in both genres listening to this album. I should also add to die-hard fans... it took me months to deal with the vocal change... but have come to accept it, out of necessity for an artist I adore.

5) Of Montreal 'Skeletal Lamping' (Alright, I'll admit, it took some getting used to, but this album is pretty awesome, and is the personification of kinky, wild sex. Mission accomplished! As that was the goal of the album).

4) Elbow 'Seldom Seen Kid' (One of the better music-oriented albums this year. Great song-writing, unique voice. Yay! New sounds!)

3) The Walkmen 'You & Me' (Alright you guys, I forgive you for the 2006 embarrassment 'A Hundred Miles Off'. You're 2008 offering is solid enough for me to forget you ever made the other one. You came back to your roots of sad, melodic NYC rock. I approve.)

2) Fleet Foxes 'Fleet Foxes' (This is here for two reasons: The first being that as much as I hate to admit it, I totally care what other music snobs think of me. The second is that this album has a vintage sonic quality to it, and I am still astounded when I listen to it that it actually was 2008. I also enjoy the songwriting.)

1) Of Montreal 'Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?' (Yeah what?! In fact, I AM so edgy to put a 2007 album as my number one album of 2008. You know why? Because I still listen to it, and it still puts to shame its' nine predecessors, and everything that was released this year.
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So may I suggest a New Year's Resolution to the music industry: Let's try some standards this time around in 2009, cool? I'm about to kill someone for something interesting to listen to...

Oh, also, if you could paralyze Ben Gibbard's vocal cords, I would be very appreciative. You know, just if you have the time.

How to Record a Band in 27 Minutes

How so very naive of us to only post about sessions that go flawlessly. We paint the inaccurate picture of tranquility, that aside from a problematic snake, the recording studio is nothing but sunshine and ribbon microphones.

The scene is last Sunday. The We-Verb staff, already tired from a long-term project session the previous day, show up to record an emo-hard-core band. At first glance everything appears normal, kids setting up drums, someone banging around on drums, also instructing placement, of aforementioned drums. You would think that this person was in fact, the drummer... think again.

The real drummer was in Pleasanton, at work, and would not be arriving to the session until several hours later. For those of you unfamiliar with the ideal recording chain, it's drums, bass, guitar, vocals... all elements tracked separately for sonic isolation.

Yes, it is at this point that the band informs us they would like to track guitar first. Begrudgingly, we mic up the cabinet, give each other the "Oh shit" look, slink into the control room, quadruple checked that the click was playing and clearly audible, and pressed 3 on the numeric keypad.

[Let this be a lesson to you rebels! Just because that piercing rhythmic click is slicing through your headphones directly into your brain DOES NOT mean that you have to play your instrument in time with it! That would just be silly.]

We managed to track two, 2 minute songs, and proceeded to track bass guitar DI.

Shortly after we have spent a couple hours with guitar and bass, doing multiple takes and various punching in, we then hear the drummer is en route. We proceed to mic the kit, taking up all 9 working channels on the snake. The drummer arrives, sits down, we start recording... about 20 seconds go by and he stops: "I can't play to this." (OF COURSE HE CAN'T PLAY TO IT. The entire session is referencing a foundation track that is full of wayward rhythm changes. That is why, my friends, you start tracking with DRUM AND BASS FIRST.)

So then a request meekly surfaces: "Is there any way we can record and all play at the same time?"

With a half an hour left in our session, we all break off and scramble with inputs and musician placement. Making quick decisions on what mics to take off of the drums to free up inputs, moving baffle walls between the drummer and the guitarist, shoving the lead vocalist into the storage room with an SM57, plugging the bassist DI in the control room, and trying to figure out what input has been changed to what in Pro Tools.

Yes, we did track the two songs they had wanted to track with the band playing simultaneously. Coincidentally, it is the exact two songs that were the catalyst for this We-Verb post, because I am procrastinating on mixing them.

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Now that the semester is over, we actually have time to post here! We have some backlogged recording sessions to detail, the best being the track that Will played drums, bass, and guitar! (AKA: We heart tube amplifiers!)

Also, our DIY audio projects are almost complete: We painted our Green Ringer Octave pedal, and will be posting about the long term, multi-mod Crybaby wah pedal.

We are going to dive right in to building our own preamps, via Seventh Circle Audio. To answer your question: Yes, yes we are in fact, so badass, that we build our own preamps.

I might accidentally post a Top Ten Albums of the Year list... because you all should at least know what is worthy of the music industry offerings. And like the economy, this was a frugal musical year.

Most importantly, PRO TOOLS 8 COMES OUT THIS WEEK. You can expect that post to contain nothing but random characters on the keyboard, because I'm going to be so excited and speechless that no articulate language will be able to escape my fingers.

Showing Off

Ok, so this may be totally whore-esque, but recently, A.R. and I have been kicking ass and taking names in our respective field-of-current-choice (Please note that we both kick ass in many of the same, as well as differing, fields).

Analogue Razor.- This is completely unadulterated by any plug-in or mixing (sans a L2007 on the master fader, because, you know, it's the equivalent of Pro Tools crack, once you start using it there is no end)... there will be a more polished version published later, but if anyone wants to hear the concept of sexy personified aurally (sorry to be unprofessional... but holy shit!), you should listen to this, like now.

He played the drums, bass, and guitar... so talented!!!!



BlytheRocks- A very lesser version of awesome, since it's only mixing, but I'm mixing some fantastic talent, so it makes it a lot better:



So, coming soon, the session details of Analogue Razor's recording, and maybe a concert review of the best night my existence (read: Of Montreal. In SF... ecstasy.)

Also, if anyone is curious, Pro Tools 8 is on pre-order on Sweetwater for only $149.99... only $50 less than I had verbally speculated... sweet!.. water.

In The Studio: Vocal Mic Shootout

So in addition to being slightly obsessed with Pro Tools 8, I have now added another irrational inanimate object into my constant-thought-rotation: RIBBON MICROPHONES.




See the skinny mic that looks like it has ears? That is our Royer R-121... sigh. (From Left to Right: CADGXL3000; Royer R-121, M-Audio Nova, and Neumann U87)

If I elaborate it's probably going to sound like a porn script, but seriously: Warm. Supple. Soothing.

Ok, think of a person who you love, and how you feel when they hug you really close... if you could make that a filter and add it to audio, that is exactly what a ribbon microphone sounds like.

Well, I guess we used some other microphones too, the Neumann, the CAD, and an M-Audio mic. The M-Audio I'll post only for comparison, because it definitely has it's own flavor. Since this isn't a post about an album review, I won't tell you what to think, you should decide for yourself:

(Also, I should say that unless noted otherwise, any audio clips posted will have NO effects added to them, sans an EQ3 that cuts everything below 125Hz... just to make sure that these MP3's don't sound shittier than they already do.)
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Neumann U87


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CAD GXL3000


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M-Audio Nova


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Royer R-121


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It should also be noted that we found a fantastic set-up to capture vocals:



Will faced the carpeted walls (there is an official, and less concise, name for these that escapes me at the moment) and sang into them while standing on the green board... it captured a full and lush sound while eliminating a good portion of the room.
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*** Coming Soon on We-Verb: ***

- More electrical engineering geekiness in all of it's glory! We have moved on to several modifications of a Dunlap Crybaby wah pedal. It's going to kick ass!
- Maybe an entry about miking drums? Maybe.
- Will has lunch with Colin McDowell from McDSP on Friday!!! This is probably the pinnacle of awesome.

In The Studio: Guitar Mic Shootout

So recently we booked some studio time at Foothill College, for an intimate 1-on-1 with Pro Tools HD (and a Control 24) and a decent mic cabinet... which includes a NeumannU87, an AKG414, and a RoyerR121 (a ribbon mic!).

First on the agenda was a mic shootout for the guitar. We went a little overboard with this one:


Seven mics at once, the two pencils are a Neumann KM184 (black) and Will's CAD something (I forgot the model number, but it's the silver pencil mic). From back row left to right, starting with the boxy looking mic is the AKG414, NeumannU87, CADGXL300, Rode NT-1A... then kind of in front (the black boxy looking mic below the Neumann) is the Audio-Technica AT4050.

Call us overzealous, call us ambitious... but a more accurate description to call us would be "really fucking excited". Here are some highlights, with comments to a minimum so you can hear for yourself:

(Note, I know MP3 is definitely not the ideal format for critical listening, I will figure out how to embed a .wav file soon!)
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Neumann U87
A classic mic! Sounded very vintage on the guitar, with a great transient response.

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CAD GXL3000
Very clear and bright. Hardly any artifacts.

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AKG 414
Warm. Awesome. Not that I had a favorite or anything...

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A.R. in action:


When it's vintage, you totally have to show off:



*** Coming soon: In The Studio: Vocal Mic Shootout... also known as 'How Blythe Fell In Love With Ribbon Microphones' ***

Green Ring Oscillator Guitar Pedal

Our first DIY audio project, for your aural pleasure:

First part is the clean guitar signal, then it decrescendos and the next part you hear is our pedal in all of its' glory! (at 27 seconds, for anyone who is counting)

Enjoy.

(Also, I figured out the audio >> blog thing, so definitely more coming soon!)

Digidesign Preview PT8

Yes, I am obsessed with this: Go here now.

I love you Digi, probably more than some of my family members, but I have to say that dark steel gray looks a hell of a lot like Logic Pro.

PRO TOOLS 8: CONFIRMED

This just in from mixonline.com

DIGIDESIGN PRO TOOLS 8: Pro Tools 8 (which includes Pro Tools HD, Pro Tools LE and Pro Tools M-Powered) has been completely updated with a new user interface, dozens of new bundled plug-ins (including five new virtual instruments and 20 effects), fully integrated MIDI and score editors, and expanded editing features. The user interface is enhanced with a more modern color palette and higher-contrast text and graphics, yet the key functions users rely on are still right where they should be, while enhancements—such as dockable Editor windows and a configurable Edit Window toolbar—make it easier to navigate than ever. Pro Tools 8 software will be available in late 2008 for Windows Vista (32-bit Business or Ultimate), Windows XP and Mac OS X 10.5 (Leopard)-based Pro Tools HD, Pro Tools LE and Pro Tools M-Powered systems. AES Booth: #702.

I think I'm in love... modern color palette? 20 new effects? 5.. virtual.. instruments... dockable editor windows.. sigh.

This week...

A lot is happening this week, first and foremost is the AES Convention in San Francisco, where PRO TOOLS 8 is expected to be previewed. You had better believe we are going to be all over that shit!!

I guess this is also first as well, because it's just as important. We are going to have a new type of feature called DIY Audio!! We are going to build a guitar pedal, and eventually expand into preamps, and maybe some vintage equipment as well!! Words cannot articulate our excitement, so the following will have to suffice:

fjdlgjdlkgjklsdjgkje9wtwu5ih3oiio3j!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!rjelkjrlk!!!!!!!!

This week is going to kick ass.

PS- Cut Copy and the Presets concert on Sunday... now THAT is second to the other things mentioned above.

Second Opnion: Metallica 'Death Magnetic'

I consulted my therapist about having to listen to a full, modern Metallica album, and she suggested that I outline some ground rules before delving into the murky waters of commercial metal. So if you will, please picture the following written in crayon with suns with smiley faces strewn about:

- Listen to as little of the new album as possible, but just enough to make a stable opinion of it

- Do not put on “Ride the Lightning”, enjoy it, then make up a convoluted path that they would probably follow through a decade, and then do a review of where I think they would have ended up, instead of actually listening to Death Magnetic

- Remind myself that there are worse things to subject myself to, like Death Cab for Cutie, or rubbing lemon, salt, and copious amounts of heroin into the cut marks on my arms (Not across the street but down the highway!) that would have been the result of listening to Death Cab For Cutie.

So with pinhole pupils and a heavy heart I bring you, the (DEEP BREATH) ‘Second Opinion’ of Metallica ‘Death Magnetic’:

Will did a damn good job acknowledging that this record is a victim of the battle of compression dipped in compression with a dash of compression, also known as the Loudness Wars. While it would be very easy to exploit the fact that no one wants their name on the sleeve of this record, I decided that the media and fans have covered that enough.

What I think is the most interesting part of this record is that not only the audio engineering community is upset about the state in which it was released, but the general public can hear it as well. I find this fact astounding… that average people can hear the lack of dynamics.

That is not meant to sound condescending in any way, but for a record to be so poorly mixed that an untrained ear can recognize that fact is unprecedented.

Of course there was an outcry to this travesty, from professionals and consumers alike. Intertwined with poor production (A 7:00 single? Come on guys, my 20-year-old pothead brother knows better than that!)

All of this unrest has begat some amazing results. A collective movement of fans trying to resurrect the glory they at one time felt for this band. People cutting down songs, independent projects of remastering the album , etc.

Really, this is the loyalty that this dying field of the music business needs! Since the dawn of the internet, music has become a very fluid, niche consumer-influenced medium. Everyone has a very detailed description of music that they like, and they rarely venture outside the red line, more or less participate.

The movement behind this record has truly moved me. It gives me hope that people recognize the minute details of information (musical, lyrical, etc) that is being fed to them, and if that happens to be distasteful, they do something about it.

Though ‘Death Magnetic’ may not be my personal preference of auditory art. I respect it as the catalyst for musical awareness among loyal fans and the general public.

Let this be the reminder that the artistic fields we adore and indulge in can always be molded into the influences, that in our hearts, we desire them to be…. Art has always been a community-based outlet, of both our human and mortal capacity. We owe ourselves to not let it stray from that mainstay.

PRO TOOLS 8

is confirmed, bitches! We have confirmation that Pro Tools 8 will have its' undoubtedly glorious debut at AES, and will probably be available in Spring 2009.

The We-Verb staff will personally bring you the details from AES in early October.

Coming this week: Will's highly anticipated review of Metallica 'Death Magnetic'; Blythe's begrudging second opinion; and fun things that you can do with Tool "10,000 Days".

Disappointment... in the plural form too.

Time to get back into the swing of things. It’s been a weird week, and a disappointing one at that. Metallica? Attaining good reviews? From sources I adore and respect?

Shit.

Half of the We-Verb staff is upset about this, only because this means that she will have to conduct a ‘second opinion’ of Death Magnetic… meaning that she has to actually listen to the damn thing.

So in the spirit of being disappointed, here are my top 5 hyped-up disappointments:

Band of Horses- This band was the result of two members of Carissa’s Wierd [sic] wandering off and creating ‘Everything All The Time’, which was one of the most exciting things about 2006. The sweeping instrumental movements tinged with sadness, like night-driving through the thick forests of the Pacific Northwest. Combine that with desperate and innocent vocals caressed with the perfect amount of delay to make my heart slap back and forth in my chest.
Music that moves me, for god’s sake! Yes! I’m in! It was the first CD I had bought since I was employed at a record store (which was 2005… if anyone asks, I have no idea how I acquired music within that timeframe).

2007, rumors of a new Band of Horses record. Yay! Only, Mat Brooke (the main instrumentalist from Carissa’s Wierd) is no longer with the band. Um, ok… maybe it’s still good?
Nope, what we got was “There Is A Ghost in My House”. The voice does nothing without the sweeping background music to back it up, the result is a whiney, dare I say it… emo… clusterfuck of annoying.

Bloc Party- What can I say? Your 2004 EP was rad. It was hip. It felt earthmoving,… at the time. Little did I know, you were Gang of Four rip-offs that never developed into your own sound. Stop making boring albums with equally boring covers. I used to have hope for you, but now you are no better than the mongoloid infested Vampire Weekend. You make me shudder with disgrace that your music is legal. Which reminds me...

Vampire Weekend- As my beloved iLm so delicately put it; You are the Arctic Monkeys of 2008…. Which means you’re a piece of dust floating in space that happened to catch a flicker of light from a distant star for just a moment. You mean nothing, and your mere mention in music news was pure luck. You’re worthless and I would rather lose a portion of my frequency range of hearing than listen to your record.

Primal Scream- Ok, so I also could have put Oasis, Blur, or Pulp in this placeholder as well. They’re all early 90’s British bands that seemed like they were the children that would grow up to change music for the better. But unlike the 3 alternatives, Primal Scream had a solidly mixed album (Screamadelica, much?) as well as the mold-shattering 180 record(XTRMNTR). They’ve released two albums in the past three years, the first whose name I can’t be bothered with, their 2008 disaster is titled ‘Beautiful Future’. The prophecy fulfills itself if your definition of a beautiful future is “typical virtual instrument filler with repetitive lyrics that make me wish an asteroid crashes into the exact location that Bobby Gillespie is currently standing”.

South- This may be my own private disappointment. You guys produce your own material, of which I am in awe of, and absolutely adore you for this fact. You have morphed between records from mandolin-playing troubadours to honoring the good parts of New Order. Your 2008 offering ‘You Are Here’… kind of boring. I promise I will try to listen to it more, but really, I expected more from you guys. I don’t want to say it, but my heart did break just the tiniest bit.

Honorable mention to my Disappointment Fest- Radiohead… but we have an entire entry planned for these guys, and I dare not ruin the surprise.

Updates...

... shall commence soon!

Just pretend that we posted a "We will be sans internet for a week" message... um, a week ago.

I would have forged such an entry and altered the time stamp, but I kind of forgot how to work this thing.

Waves Certified?

I know the question has been on all of your minds, and I am here to quell your worries with the answer: Hell yes! Will and I are both certified in Waves processors.

Aside from our superior implementation of them in our work, today we decided to play trivial pursuit in the form of a multiple choice test... answering mind numbing questions about the parameters we already know how to operate. Why, how do you spend your Sunday afternoon? I prefer filling mine with compression. Lots of compression.

Additionally, if you pass the Waves Certification Program you get a free shirt. I feel it was my moral obligation to inform you of that... had we been aware of that fact, we probably would have taken the test sooner.

Rumour

... has it that Pro Tools 8 is in beta testing. We have some pretty reliable sources (someone with close Digi connections who is more obsessed with Pro Tools than we are... yeah, those people exist).

If we hear anything else, it will be posted here.

My speculation: AES will reveal the truth... you know how Digidesign can be an attention whore.

Introductions

The staff of We-Verb got kind of carried away this week, clearly we were too eager to express our opinions about a sham indie artist and a washed up rock band hanging by a thread to past iconic prestige. I would love to say that this probably won’t happen again, but that would just be a lie.

However, our quips make more sense if you have some back-story: We both are complete music geeks. We both prefer the DAW Pro Tools. We both treasure condiments and odd food combinations. Our basic framework is the same but the way we operate within that framework is through a series of lovely parallels, which I will gladly share with you now:




So now you can see how this will get interesting. Our plan is to approach music and music production from both sides of the recording booth, musician and engineer, so all ground is covered. Plus, when people are different they develop rivalries with hilarious consequences!

Second Opinion: Metallica (I want that 7:56 of my life back)

(insert a very long and awkward pause)

Sorry about that, I'm back from having to vomit... I just got the stomach wrenching news that Metallica is still making records. You remember when that racehorse had to be euthanized on the track because it broke it's ankle and it just wasn't going to heal? This is what should have transpired with Metallica after S & M... and I'm just being generous because I like strings.

No, I am not a connoisseur of heavy rock, nor am I familiar with any Metallica record that is not named 'Ride the Lightning'... but certain circumstances have brought me to this painful moment... and I will persevere.

After falling asleep through the painfully long intro, I was softly awoken by the entrance of a vocal part. The first thought that ran through my mind was "Well shit! Incubus got heavier!" Yes, the vocals had qualities reminiscent of this guy. Ouch.

One aspect I did find exciting is the repetitive guitar part that goes on for like 3 minutes straight. That basically means that if fate brings me to such crossroads, my novice guitar skills could potentially score me a gig with Metallica.

I should also note that they finally start rocking out at the 5:00 mark... come on guys, you make radio friendly rock music! Your target market has an attention span of about 1:35... and that's on a good day! My humble advice would be to follow the likes of your fellow on-the-radio colleagues, or switch to post-rock, where pretentious bastards can get away with an 8 minute song.

Metallica - The Day That Never Comes

It's been a while since Metallica did anything particularly relevant, so many did not notice that today they released a stream of their new single "The Day that Never Comes" over at their website. Not that they don't have any fans; millions of ravenous metal heads slobber at the thought of Metallica returning to form after a decade of blues-rock or ill-conceived garage concepts. The strangest thing of all my be this new single, the first ever specifically written to be played in guitar hero.

Ok, so that may be a stretch, but the song format is less thrash from days of "...Justice..." or "Lightning" and more progressive, starting out slow and melodic with more than a touch of eighties hair ballad, before speeding up into some "Black Album" hard rock and crescendoing in dueling solos clearly influenced by Guitar Hero mainstays such as Dragonforce. Not that this is a bad thing; since "St. Anger" decided to forgo soloing in leu of more snare drum, devil-horn aficionados believed Metallica's days of shred were gone for good. It's nice to see they still have their chops. And oh, what chops!

So... yay for soloes, and maybe we'll have to look past iffy songwriting and contrived lyrics to get there. Ah, good ol' Metallica. Probably the biggest question mark other than soloes had been lead singer James Hetfield's voice, which has sounded shot for years now and really suffered on their last release and subsequent tours. Live clips showing early versions of songs on then new album, "Death Magnetic," only reinforced fears that the band was soon done. It seems that producer Rick Rubin may have noticed this too, because there seems to be liberal use of processing and perhaps more than a little autotune thrown on to keep Hetfield's voice in line. And once again, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Unlike their past effort, the vocals don't make the songs intolerable, letting the prodigious shredding shine without distraction.

Death Magnetic comes out September 12 worldwide and on Guitar Hero (the intended audience).

Album Review: Scarlett Johansson 'Anywhere I Lay My Head' (2008)

I’ll be bold and go ahead and call it: set-up. If there is any pin-up girl to the hipster music critics it is Ms. Johansson. I wholeheartedly agree, she had some awesome performances in Ghost World, as well as Lost In Translation. When that fact is combined with the general agreement upon the validity of Wait’s catalog… now this starts to get suspicious.

I like to stick with a general rule with artists whose catalog I tend to occasionally indulge: They are either masked, dead, or just fucking insane. I’m not sure how I would react if someone I preemptively found attractive made a record.

That being said, I totally WANT to hate this album. I really do. They trick me with the chamber pop instrumental intro, and they second song she sounds like a man at first… but damn! It hits me on track 4... her vocals are irreverent and haunting. It’s a darker Fiona Apple… it’s what one would listen to driving across the country alone with a big open sky above, exploding with stars.

Not to give her all the credit, the arrangements are beautiful. The wall of sound is lush, and definitely compliments the low tone of her voice. Everything is balanced and where it should be. She hits her notes, and in my opinion, there is not an obvious use of pitch correction… so the girl has a vague understanding of music theory!

For what it is, it’s good. I can accept the novelty of it, and for whatever marketing reason behind it, it was well executed. My only regret in all of this was having my Last.Fm application open while analyzing it, further proof that I fell into the hype of my music elitist male counterparts.

* * In unrelated news: If anyone knows how to delete history on a Last.Fm account, please email me ASAP. * *